Where Does Conflict Come From?

I recently had the opportunity to serve on a panel talking about conflict in increasingly political times. The audience was a variety of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging Leaders from around the globe. As my co-panelists and the facilitators prepared for the event, the first question on our minds seemed to be where does conflict come from? As I thought about this question, I found myself thinking a great deal about the concepts of values and alignment.

Oftentimes we make a lot of assumptions about the level of alignment we have between our own values and the values of others around us or the organizations we are a part of - whether it’s the organizations we work for or other groups we are a part of by choice. Many times we assume a high level of alignment and put a great deal of responsibility of the organization to uphold and advance our own values. Because the organization itself has its own values, that often need to represent larger groups of individuals, potentially from diverse backgrounds or schools of thoughts, it can be challenging, if not impossible for the organization to perfectly uphold the individual values of its members. So when there is an expectation of perfection in alignment, it can create disappointments and conflict. Starting with internal work to understand our own values and why they have meaning to us can assist us in prioritizing what we want and need out of the organizations we choose to be a part of and how we put pressure on them to support those values..

Conflict won’t just magically vanish because we realize that organizations can’t always uphold all of our own personal values, but as we spend time engaging around our own values and their meaning, we can learn to engage and find ways to help others understand their importance to us and potentially join us in sharing them and finding a path forward toward a resolution.